Counseling & Awareness

April is Counseling Awareness Month and this year, The American Counseling Association (ACA) is focused on highlighting ways in which professional counselors can help with a variety of everyday issues.  Some of the issues professional counselors can help with are: learning ways to manage stress, anger management, grief, trauma, anxiety and depression, improving family conflict and marital problems by learning effective and positive communication strategies, making healthier lifestyle changes involving career decisions, addictions, parenting, and finding balance between work and life.

Asking for help can be nerve wracking and daunting; however it is the first step to making change in your life. Do you desire to improve your life? Be happier? Worry less? Stop a bad habit?  Communicate better with others? Let go of past hurts? If you answered yes, then maybe counseling is right for you! “But how do I find the right counselor?” 

Well, think of if similar to finding the right hairstylist. No one wants to go to a stylist that is never available, does a sloppy job or is too pricey. So, when looking for a counselor, you want to find one that will meet most of what you are looking for. For example, some things to consider when searching for a counselor are: 

  • Do I want a male or female therapist?
  • Do they take insurance or have a sliding scale?
  • Do they work with children?
  • Do they have any specialties?
  • What types of issues do they work with?
  • Do they have a website?
  • Do they have hours that are convenient to my schedule?
  • What type of counseling approach do they use?
  • Is the counseling practice conveniently located?

Once you have done your research, it’s now time to make the call. Yes, admitting that you need help can be scary and vulnerable; however, it will be one of the best decisions you can make for yourself and/or family. Counselors are trained in a variety of counseling techniques and theories. Most have a minimum of a Master’s degree and are licensed or a registered intern. You can check out Psychology Today to search for counselors in your area; or check out www.swfcc.net for a list of counselors that may meet your needs.  Now is the time to make the change you have always wanted to make! Now is the time to get back to being happier! Now is the time to live a better balanced life! Now is the time to call a counselor! We can help! Call today to schedule an appointment with one our qualified professional counselors. For more information call 941-391-1067 or visit our website at www.swfcc.net.

LGBTQ+

Most people have seen shows or documentaries about the LGBTQ+ community or heard stories from others about their loved ones coming out to them. However, not many of these shows or stories inform you on how to handle these situations or what to do if you are in them. There are now many different ways people can identify their gender and sexuality. Additionally, people are starting to try to identify their gender and sexuality very young. This can be to confusing and there is a lot of misinformation about these topics.

What can you do if someone you know comes out to you about their gender or sexual identity? The first thing is to take a moment and think about your reaction first. How will this affect your future relationship with this person? Next, decide if you need more education on the topic. Usually the person telling you is able to give you a lot of information, if you ask. However, if you feel uncomfortable asking, seek information on your own. Third, realize that if this person is telling you, they have probably been struggling with this decision for longer than you think. Things you should not do are, try to convince them that they are confused, tell them they are too young to know yet, say “it’s just a phase, react out of fear, or tell them how horrible their lives will be if they continue on this path. They are telling you because they trust you and you should take that into account with your response. If you need more education, you can contact your local LGBTQ+ center as they usually have information for family and friends available, or you can seek information from someone who is an experienced LGBTQ+ leader or counselor in your community.

If you are someone who is struggling with your gender or sexual identity there are also many resources available to you. If you are able to, seeking counseling from someone experienced in LGBTQ+ counseling or support group. Be sure to ask if the counselor has any experience in your particular struggles as some LGBTQ+ issues are specialized and not all LGBTQ+ counselors have experience in every topic. At our offices, I run a LGBTQ+ Teen support group. If you are not able to, or do not have access to a counselor, you can contact your local LGBTQ+ center. If you prefer to remain anonymous these are the helplines you can contact: if you are under 25, 1-800-246- Pride, or for all ages 1-888-843-4564.

Grief and the Holidays

Festive decorations, twinkling lights, melting candles, family, friends.  The holidays can be a joyous time for many.  It is a time of reflection and a time of looking ahead.  It adds fresh excitement and fun, but also stress and reminders.  While many reminders can be happy, there is also a big sense of nostalgia during the holidays.  This nostalgia can be difficult for many to cope with, but even more difficult if you have recently lost someone you love, someone who was always a part of your holiday celebrations. 

Grief is a funny thing, not haha funny, more like punch in the gut funny.  You can feel like you have a handle on things; that everything is under control, and then something happens to trigger it again and boom, you’re in tears.  While over time grief does get easier, at the holidays it can become a bit more raw and harder to deal with.  Add to that, that most holiday songs are in minor keys and about times gone by, and it’s a recipe for disaster.  There are things you can do to help you cope and still enjoy the holiday season, despite your loved one not being there. 

1.       Don’t’ be afraid to remember.  Remembering can be difficult, especially when we are grieving.  It can be tempting to run from things that remind us of who is missing.  Memories have a way of making the loss feel unbearable; it is in letting ourselves remember that we can honor our loved one and help ourselves to heal.  It can be family remembering all together, or it can be in a journal all by yourself. 

2.       Don’t fear old traditions, but feel free to create new ones.  When we lose someone, usually our biggest thought is that nothing will be the same.  By keeping old traditions, we can remember the person we lost, and also still have the celebration we have always had.  It may mean changing the old tradition slightly.  Perhaps grandma is gone and she used to always make pumpkin pie, well, maybe someone can make her recipe.  Of course it is never going to taste the same as though grandma made it, but you can have the tradition and the memory still intact.  If keeping an old tradition isn’t possible or is too painful, perhaps you can create a new one.  If mom always cooked, well maybe this year, it can be potluck style and that can be a new tradition. 

3.       Don’t run from your feelings.  Grief is hard, especially at what for so many is a happy time of year.  Sit in your feelings and don’t run from them.  When we stuff our feelings, is when we make ourselves sick and end up with anxiety and panic attacks.  Crying isn’t fun, pain isn’t fun.  It’s human to want to run from these.  Find time though to sit in the moment and just feel.  Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings.  The only way out is through, the longer we stuff our feelings, the harder we make the grieving process on ourselves.

4.       Take care of yourself…and othersIn the crazy business of the holiday season, it can be tempting to just throw ourselves into the business with full abandon.  When we are busy, we don’t give ourselves time to think and feel, we stuff everything and keep moving.  Be sure you don’t over book yourself.  When you are grieving, self-care is even more important than usual.  Take time out to color for a few minutes, take a walk on the beach, drive around and look at decorations, take your dog to the dog park, go on a trail ride, talk to your counselor or do whatever you do that makes you feel in the moment and rested.  It can also be helpful to do unto others.  You can buy gifts for the less fortunate, volunteer at a homeless shelter or even volunteer at an animal shelter.  In helping others, we get the focus off of ourselves and it helps us to realize that we can go on. 

5.       Find a grief support groupMeeting others who are struggling with a loss can be a helpful thing.  It can help normalize some pretty big emotions and feelings.  A support group is not a pity party, its strong people struggling with a loss, going to a safe place to support others struggling with similar losses.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign that you understand your own limits and are doing something that is good for you to help you. 

Grieving can make us feel weak.  We have a false association that the expression of feelings and emotions is a show of weakness, but it takes a lot of strength to allow ourselves to feel.  It takes a tremendous amount of courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  In allowing ourselves to feel and be vulnerable is where we find our healing.  Whether your loss is recent, or happened a while ago, know that you aren’t alone.